It's kinda deep in here,,you might want to get your rain boots on...

I am soooo sick of the way things are right now,,I have had it! I'm sick of having too many people crammed in one home,no one was meant to live this way! Families were NOT meant to share a household,I dont care what you say! Although it is only my mom, along with me,keith,kruise,and soon to be noah,it's still just SUFFOCATING me! I'm done with cleaning up constantly after 3 ADULTS , in addition to cleaning up after and taking care of my son. I'm sick of not having my own space, my furniture, my lawn and flowers,even my own holiday decorations,I still miss my home so much it hurts,even though it's been a year,,It hurts me that Kruise only got to spend 6 weeks in the nursery I worked on for months just for him to grow up in,,I'm tired of "people" slamming the door below our room, and Kruise's room, EVERY single morning and EVERY single night, no matter how many times I bring it up and waking us and our sleeping baby up,,I'm tired of "people" opening the loud ass garage door every morning at 6:30,that echoes through the whole house, just to walk through it to their car,that's parked outside,instead of using the front door! I hate that Noah doesn't have a special place to come home to,no room of his own,no nursery that I worked on tirelessly and put so much love into,just a bassinet,,a temporary place, just like us,,I hate that I have nowhere to put all his sweet little baby things, like with Kruise,instead i can only get necessity's so there's no clutter for the house to sell,,I feel like Noah is already not getting what he deserves,,already "less" than Kruise,this breaks me...I'm sick of seeing my beautiful things and comfy bed and furniture sitting all over the place in a dirty storage facility.I miss my porch swing and walking barefoot around my yard, imagining Kruise running and playing in our beatiful yard.,I tears me up to know these will be Kruise and Noah's memories,not in our family home full of love and our own traditions,, I'm mad I can't even do laundry when I want. I'm over being sad and crying without cause way too often. I hate that I'm so angry, when I know things could be alot worse, if we had no one to help us. I'm sick of things not ever getting better. I'm tired of being sick and tired, feeling desperate and poor,of having to rely on someone else for things as simple as shampoo..when will this misery end? How the hell did we get here, and how,if ever, will we climb back out of this black hole!? I see no end in the near future and it scares the hell out of me,,where is the light at the end of this tunnel? Lord help us! It' so hard to be positive in a time like this, and I can only fake it for so long,,,it felt good to let that out,,,thanks for opening the floodgates M :)